The dress envy

It seems that if you want to be an iconic female figure, you need a green dress. I reached this conclusion after the recent obsession with Keira Knightley’s green dress worn in ‘Atonement’: I too wanted the dress. But there was also something else to it.

Apparently, the colour green is seen as a positive colour and conveys a sense of doing good. The designer of Keira’s dress, Jacqueline Durran, related this to the ‘environmental movement’. She also commented that ‘it also relays honesty, authenticity and just being modern’. How absurd. Last time I checked, it was a certain jealous ‘green-eyed monster’ that sent Othello a little cuckoo and gets us all occasionally.

Most interestingly, the design of this dress does not tally with photos of upper-middle-class dress in the ‘30s, who look rather ‘scruffy, clumpy and lumpy’, according to ‘Atonement’ director Joe Wright. But ‘the film isn’t based on reality. It’s more of a dream, a remembered past, a child’s distant memory of a perfect day before everything went horribly wrong’. Poignantly, the green dress, that has fast become so iconic is formative of a perfect ideal, does not reflect - in any way, shape or form - reality. Yes, fashion personified.

This reminded me of a ‘Newsnight’ discussion of Tamara de Lempicka’s work, in particular, the portrait of a woman in a green dress. Will Self commented that the viewers of her work ‘see a reflection of their own superficial vanity and obsession.’ Kwame Kwei-Armah continued to say that ‘I found every woman to be very cold and I found it art without soul.’

Indeed, every woman in want of a certain Keira green dress will most certainly be without any sense of reality. But let a girl dream!

Maybe tomorrow!?

I've just read the story about the women who got stuck on her boyfriend's toilet for two years. Her doting boyfriend brought her food and water and asked her if she wanted to come out but the outside world clearly did not appeal; leaving her skin to grow around the toilet seat!

Wow.

Now, there are questions left unanswered. Firstly, how did she get stuck on the toilet seat in the first place? And when it occured, what went through her mind to make her prefer to sit it out on the toilet, say all night, trying to sleep?! That is some serious procrastination.

And what about the boyfriend? According to reports, she would say "Maybe tomorrow" when he asked her if she wanted to leave. At some point, perhaps ranging a couple of weeks, maybe after a month, you would probably pick up the phone and get some help. Or even get a saw and bust her out. But TWO YEARS!

I'm considering putting this forward to my boyfriend. Perhaps it can be a sort of 'What if' relationship endurance test. "If I get stuck on a toilet for two years, do you promise to feed me, tender to my every need and perhaps read me my favourite magazine out loud?"

Ultimately, it's stories like these that really hit home: the human race never fails to amaze me. And they must have some scary toilets in Kanas.


If you want to read the story:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/13/wtoilet113.xml

But I'm a lady!

Ok, so, how many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

You’ve all heard the jokes zooming around office inboxes, circulating amongst groups of gossiping girls and bitter feminists. Recently, it’s occurred to me that women are not advancing the feminist cause. They’re promoting a new one: the anti-men campaign. There’s much eye-rolling, lack of confidence in men to carry out simple tasks and a lot of confusion about gender roles.

I was recently considering the ‘gender gap’ whilst on the bus the other day. As you do. I saw a woman screaming at her, perhaps, partner. She had him pinned against the wall. No one was calming her down. Most were smiling. This was literal male-bashing and the worst kind I’d ever seen. For too long men had reigned supreme; had denied women the vote, confined us to the domestic home, thought us intellectually inferior, even later, talked of their “bitches” and “whores” in rap culture, yet, women got their own way and are taking revenge for years of suppression? But that’s not right. When can we agree that “feminism” has gone too far? Apart from the literal male-bashing, male put-downs are a reflex amongst young women. It even seems common amongst my friends who boast of their ‘play’ of men. Whilst their partners are loyal, honest and mostly, sensitive, the girls are exercising their ‘independence’ and treating men like ‘bitches’.

You only have to review every year of GCSE and A-level results in schools to see the ‘gender gap’ at work: boys do not do as well as girls. This trend cannot merely show that girls are better. Our society has incorporated women as equals to men, yet, in the process has made it acceptable for men to fall behind, lose confidence and be susceptible to women’s male-bashing as a result: the gender gap is increasing in favour of women. Women want to dress like men, drink like men, have high-flying careers, be a successful mother and still demand men to hold doors open for them and act in a chivalrous gentlemanly way. Ladies, it’s clear that we can’t have it all. I’m not saying this as an anti-feminist either. I am a feminist and fully believe in equal opportunities and rights for women. However, I also believe that men and women are equal but different and men also need a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T (thank you, Aretha).

It’s time to stop reinforcing stereotypes, tearing men down to boost women. Otherwise the future won’t be bright for us girls: it’ll be heralding divorcees clubs and ITV’s ‘Loose Women’. No thanks.