You just can’t rebel right anymore

I’ve been pre-empting a mid-life crisis for a while now. And I’m only twenty.

I feel I may have failed to fulfil the rebellious potential of my young life. Frankly, I just can’t keep up with the kids. Those kids, who are the same age as me, but like to wear skimpy clothing out even when it’s cold outside, stay awake past half past ten and actually think that being sick after drinking too much is part and parcel of a ‘good night out’. Something must be wrong?

Before I can say ‘cool’, I’m tucked in bed with a hot chocolate and a book at 9 o’clock. And somehow I feel that I’ve let myself down. It struck me most, recently, on a trip up to Leeds to celebrate my friend’s 21st birthday. It started when we arrived and I mentioned that I was feeling tired. That received concerned glances. After all, we were going to some dance-fest club, ‘Gatecrasher’ to see a ‘Basement Jaxx DJ set’, which all entailed staying up until the early hours of the morning and not even leaving the house until midnight.

“Midnight! Isn’t that when we’re supposed to go home?”

That didn’t go down well, and so, my friends spent the majority of the afternoon encouraging me to take short naps in preparation. As it turned out, I managed quite well; I survived the broken glass under my feet and even having my face in someone’s sweating armpit for a while on the dance floor. In fact, I did so well, I was still dancing when two of my friends caved in to high-heel syndrome and couldn’t stand any longer. It was a triumph. A miraculous triumph, but that itself worried me: staying up late dancing shouldn’t be a conquest for a 20-year old.

For years, younger generations have been rebelling against their parents; smoking, drinking, taking drugs, being generally liberal minded and hippy-like. But my parents were those rebels too. So what have I to rebel against? All that’s left for us youngsters to do to shock is perhaps follow current affairs, work hard at our academic studies, say a sensible “no” to drugs and definitely go to bed early. Rubbish. How could my parents do this to me?

My only hope is in a mid-life crisis. Maybe, perhaps, hopefully, I’ll get to thirty and every rebellious dream will come true. But there’s a problem, there’s not much left to shock and there isn’t much I want to revolt about. G.K. Chesterton once said “the modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything”. And so, today’s younger generation has lost the right to rebel. My parents have done all the rebelling for me and left me with nothing. Damn, the kids are alright!